Every now and then I come accross someone who is as hard headed as I am. If I wanted a seat one morning then I had to take a sideways one at the back of the bus. It has 3 seats designed more for an Asian butt rather than my ample Canadian Bacon fed frame. Of course I had the choice between trying to wedge in next to Andre the Giant or take the edge seat that has a side bar to my left and a pole to my right. The latter had about 4 mm more room so I sucked in my gut, curved my shoulders and squeaked my poor self into it. The pole immediately cut off blood flow to my lower right leg and the side bar prevented me from seperating my knees so I was a 220lbs nutcracker for a half hour.
Two stops later a lovely heifer got on and decided to take the middle seat and all the glorious 3 inches that separated Mr. Giant's and my shoulders. Neither of us could give her any more room despite our futile attempts so she was stuck sitting with her elbows in front of her. I could feel her trying to squirm them back, first on Andre's side and then on mine, but to no avail. Finally she took advantage of a change in warp speed and tucked her elbow in on my side as I was leaning left at a 45 degree angle. Being in the seat with a side bar I could not readjust so I tried to pry her elbow back out, but she was headstrong and didn't care that my head was inches from another rider's lap (fortunatlely is was not Brucy). I got my revenge at the next stop where the driver woke up at the last second and had to brake hard. With her momentum going right I managed to get my elbow back into position so I could be sitting upright again. Betsy didn't like that so she gave me a dirty look and tried to retake the Real Estate that she had annexed from me earlier. About 30 seconds of elbow jousting went on, but in the end she gave up. In my head I conjured up the best Stewie voice and yelled "VICTORY IS MINE!"
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